I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
