Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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