I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
