so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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