TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
