Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
