DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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