I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
