What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
