Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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