i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
