Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
