So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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