Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
