I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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