yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
