He had one of those small greek statue penises
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
