pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
