I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We talked him into tasing himself.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And then he peed in my hair
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