He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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