Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
