So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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