I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
