Someone shit on the floor
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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