you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
