xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Congratulations! We have a period
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
