tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
