I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
