What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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