i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
