Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
