Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
