he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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