I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
