Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
