I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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