He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
