when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
