Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
