her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
