It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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