Jerry, you need to find god
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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