he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
