why didn't you poke me back
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
