I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
