Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
is it fun? or sober?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
