we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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