Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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