hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
