He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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